Summer trip diaries

5 spots to eat in Vienna, how I handle racism in front of my kids, and my best tip for surviving travel with little ones.

Hi everyone, how are you? I hope your summer has been restful and rejuvenating so far.

I’ve been lucky enough to spend the last couple of months traveling with my kids. It’s the third summer that we’ve taken an extended trip abroad, but the first time that I didn’t have any competing responsibilities. (Two years ago we experienced a tragic loss on the first day of our vacation and spent the rest of the time organizing, grieving and healing; last summer I worked remotely on Dumpling Club, managing social media and coordinating events from afar.)

This year we spent a month in Europe followed by three weeks in China and my duties primarily included getting us safely from one location to the next with minimal meltdowns, carting around my daughter’s violin and somehow wrangling her into practicing three times a week, packing and unpacking our suitcases a billion times, and procuring ice cream whenever the heat became unbearable (basically every day, twice a day). And so my summer was exactly as you’d imagine: Joyful, chaotic, exhausting, emotional, beautiful and oftentimes just plain HOT.

In today’s newsletter, I’m sharing our family’s five favorite spots to eat whenever we’re in Vienna, reflecting on how to handle racism in front of my kids, and offering up one big tip for surviving travel with little ones.

Thanks for reading and as always, you can drop me a line via email or Instagram.

Xo Cathay

Five favorite places to eat in Vienna

If you’re new here, some context: I’m Chinese American (born in China, raised in the US) and my husband is Austrian. We met in Austria while I was living and studying abroad in Vienna and eventually made our way to San Francisco, where we put down roots. To help us stay connected to Austria, we’ve made yearly trips for the last 15 years. Fun fact: Our kids speak fluent German… and so do I! 

Here are some places we frequent with our six- and eight-year-olds in tow: 

1.

Our first stop in Vienna is usually Billa, the grocery chain you’ll find on almost every corner of the city, and we go straight to the deli counter to order freshly made sandwiches. Semmel is our bread of choice, a white bread roll with a thin, crispy crust and fluffy interior. Ubiquitous in Austrian bakeries but not found really anywhere else in the world, Wikipedia translates Kaisersemmel as Kaiser rolls (except they aren’t anything like the eponymous rolls served for lunch at my Midwest middle school). There are fewer things in life better than a warm, freshly baked Semmel. We often order them filled with smoked ham, pickles and horseradish (Schinkensemmel mit Gurken und Kren) or with Leberkäse and mustard (Leberkässemmel mit Senf). I’m not exactly sure how to describe Leberkäse–a thick slice of mortadella perhaps? Or maybe a cross between American bologna and Spam? Whatever—it’s salty, it’s meaty, it’s delicious. You can order these at any grocery deli counter in Austria and at most bakeries too.

My friend Lillian went to Vienna this summer and snapped this photo of her first ever Leberkässemmel, per my recommendation ;-)

2.

For breakfast, we’ve found the options at Rochus to be reliably delicious and reasonably priced. The restaurant is located in the third district, right off the U3 Rochusgasse station and has plenty of seating in its large outdoor patio. We usually get a classic Austrian spread with soft-boiled eggs and assorted breads and jams, but a good chunk of the menu is influenced by Vienna’s vibrant Turkish community so you’ll also see breakfast platters with falafel, hummus and sharp cheeses.

3.

Ever since my mother-in-law moved into an apartment overlooking the Schweizergarten, we’ve been going to Klein Steiermark for family dinners. They serve classic Austrian fare on a large garden patio in the middle of the park. Summer is chanterelle season and they serve one of my favorite dishes, geröstete Eierschwammerl mit Ei (a scramble of eggs and chanterelles served with potatoes) but you can order the ribs any time of the year and they will make you very happy. We love that the restaurant sits right next to a wonderful playground and often let our kids run independently out to play–the park is a car free zone of course. If you’re looking for a similar experience in a more central location, try Glacis Beisl. It has all the garden vibes but is tucked behind the MuMoK (Museum of Modern Art) just steps from the first district.

4.

I have to say that I’ve been less than enamored with Austria’s Chinese food scene, but when the craving for Asian food hits, I’ve found Thai food to be generally excellent. After a regular diet of meat and potatoes, I am usually sooo ready for a visit to Allreis where I order the stir fried water spinach and the betel leaves with assorted toppings. the restaurant has two outposts in the city, but we always go to the location on Ballgasse so I can meet up with my girlfriend Victoria who owns and operates the art gallery right next door.

5.

When we want to treat ourselves, we go to Salonplafond located in the Museum of Applied Arts (MAK). The restaurant has changed owners and names a couple of times, but they always serve modern Austrian food to match the luxe, Beaux-Arts interiors. The ornate ceiling alone takes my breath away. During the summer, everyone sits out in the shaded courtyard overlooking an expansive private lawn where the kids can run barefoot. The food is fancy here, but at any good Austrian restaurant you can ask for a junior-sized schnitzel with fries for your little ones.

The stunning ceiling at Salonplafond im MAK

Have you ever been to Vienna? Do you have any favorite spots? These are the places we frequent but I’d love to discover some new ones as well!

Confronting racism in front of my kids

On our first day in Austria, I took the kids to spend an afternoon at the Haus der Musik (House of Music), a museum known for its creative and experiential exhibits. As a classically-trained musician, I was especially looking forward to the digital podium, where my kids and I could try our hands at virtually conducting the Vienna Philharmonic. My husband was working remotely–West Coast hours, unfortunately–and stationed himself in the downstairs courtyard to catch up on emails while we explored.

As the kids ran up the iconic piano stairs at the museum’s entrance, a swarm of middle school students came flooding down in the opposite direction in a great wall of noise. Over the sea of heads, I heard a group of laughing boys shout “Ching Chang Chong” as they passed us. Stunned, I whipped my head around to see my children’s reactions. Had they heard? Did they know it was directed at us? But the words had gone unnoticed. All I saw were my kids’ delighted faces as they ran up and down the steps in a cacophony of noise.

I was hit with the memory of my family’s trip to Paris over 20 years ago, when two young white girls followed my sister and me for a block in Montmartre, viciously speaking fake Chinese. I don’t know which impacted me more–the boys or the memory of those girls–but it took a few minutes for my heart to stop thudding and another hour or two before the queasiness in my stomach settled. After years of living in San Francisco, these types of interactions have become so rare that I felt completely unprepared. What exactly does one do when another child makes a racist remark in front of your own children?

The conventional wisdom is to simply do nothing. Toughen up and don’t let things get under your skin. “You can’t control other people, only how you react to them,” I’ve heard time and time again. When I related the story to a friend, he said that confronting the perpetrators only empowers them, so the best thing to do is ignore them. But… is that really true? When you ignore racism, do you render it powerless? When you laugh it off and pretend it doesn’t hurt, does it then do no harm? I’m not so sure. Those girls in Montmartre have probably long forgotten me, but I’ve carried their memory in a tight, black space in my chest for many, many years. Maybe if I’d said something then, they would remember, too.

I’m sure my feelings will continue to evolve on this, but for now, here’s my stance: When someone shouts at us “Ching Chang Chong” or “Nihao” or “Konnichiwa”, I want to speak up so that my kids know it’s not ok and that they don’t have to accept it. My husband and I wrote out responses in both English and German: “Excuse me, that’s very impolite. If you have something to say, please introduce yourself. I’m happy to converse in either English or German.” In the moment, my mind and body can freeze up, so there’s comfort in having the words ready.

My kids might never use my words–maybe they won’t ever need to?!–but I feel better knowing I provided the model and I provided the tools. What do you think? Do you have canned responses to difficult questions? I would love to hear them.

My Austro-Chinese American kiddos

Lastly, my best tip for traveling with kids…

We’ve got international travel down to a science: Each kid gets a back-pack and a Calpak mini carry-on that perfectly fits two pairs of shoes, one stuffed animal, one sweater, three outfits and assorted undies and socks. They each have a pair of headphones and a tablet preloaded with games and movies, and they have a sleeping configuration for economy seats where my daughter curls up into a very uncomfortable snail and my son half-sprawls on top of both of us.

But if there’s one thing that keeps us sane during travel, it’s this:

We explain to the kids what we’re going to do each day, before we do it, and wherever possible, we give them choices.

It seems like a small thing, but instead of waiting until my kids start asking (“Where are we going? What are we doing? Who are we meeting?”), I try to chat about our schedules ahead of time. Traveling can often make children feel out of control and giving them time to process helps settle down those feelings. Another plus is that my kids usually tell me if they’re not excited about an activity on our schedule and I can proactively think about solutions–maybe I need to shorten the hike I’d originally planned or rearrange dinner to an earlier time. This doesn’t always prevent meltdowns but at least I’m not surprised!

To make it easier to get through family commitments, I make sure to give the kids choices. For example, I’ll say, “Tomorrow we’re going to visit your great grandma. She’s making lunch and we want to take some family photos. It’s important to me that you participate, ok? After the visit, we have some time to play. Do you want to go swimming or catch a movie?” They get excited when they can dictate a part of our day.

Do you do this with your kids, or would you try it? Let me know how it goes!

Somehow I can still get away with only a carry-on ;-)

Thanks so much for reading. I feel so fortunate to have the time and resources to be able to travel with my kids, and enjoyed reflecting on our trip. Hope you have a wonderful rest of the summer!